The Place to be for the Schmuck Free League
2008-09 Schmuck Free League Champion - Fantasy Gangster
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------------------------------------------------------------------ And the Winner is ... Fox Run had four of the top nine scorers in the playoffs this year....four. This leads to a few questions being asked. Is this owner clairvoyant? Does he have inside information? Was he secretly recording the other teams during practice or games? In an effort to get answers to these questions, we went asking around. Here are some of the answers.... Playoff stud Laurence Maroney offerred some insight: "Coach Andrew has all his players watch American Gladiators before each playoff game...you know...to get them pumped up. It really works." The Horde owner, Bob: "Fox Run held my team to 44 and 45 points respectively in our head to head meetings. At 82.1 average points against for the season he has either completely figured out how to control points against or is the luckiest mofo in the league." Muffin Tops Owner, Derek: "Congrats to the sleepy Otters. They were the quiet trailers going into the playoffs and somehow pulled it off. With only two regular season positions with over 150, a Defense from sunny San Diego and some old man named Brett "underhand" Farverah, the Otters win the Schmuck Cup with a mediocre playoff roster. See you in 09 Otters." All Up In It owner, John: "82.1...is... just ridiculous! Two years in a row. I can't even talk about it." Chuck's Chest owner, Jon B. said: "What? The season is over already? Do I ever have to pay?" The first round of the playoff draft is kind of interesting too. Muffin Tops picked LaDanian (15 points), the Ron picked Moss (15 points), then Otters picked Terrell Owens (10 points), then Dingbats picked Wes Welker (33 points). So, Welker was a good pick, but even with his 33, none of these first rounders were in the top ten in playoff scoring. The Commissioner stated in his post Super Bowl interview that "Andrew must also be commended on his near perfect attendance at league events. Off the top of my head, I can't think of one that he missed, but there must be one....this IS the Schmuck Free League." (Note: Otters did not attend the Week 8 outing at the commissioners house which may be the only one). From the Draft to the MNF opener to the Trade Deadline, Christmas Party and more, Andrew proved himself to be a worthy, committed, and deserving owner. So congratulations to the Fox Run Giant Otters (please excuse the Capital letters) on winning the Schmuck Free League Championship for the 2007-08 season. It was a great season. ---------------------------------------------------- The 2006-07 Schmuck Free League Champion
The SFL Champions Trophy Tour (2007-08)
By Andrew Huffman
Junior Fantasy Writer
There was a schmuck free league trophy tour this offseason(much like the Stanley cup trophy tour). Each member of the giant otters had time with the trophy. Unfortunately I can only share a few pics with you as most of them involved things I cannot speak of for legal matters and to protect those involved.
The tour began in Green Bay where Brett Favre met the fans, signed autographs and took some pictures with the locals. As you can see the trophy has undergone a slight modification…..for the better I might add.
Next stop on the tour was New England. A large crowd had gathered awaiting its arrival. There was no doubt the trophy would arrive for the press conference, but Laurence Maroney was questionable with a hamstring injury that he sustained getting out of his escalade. The night before, coach Belicheck confirmed Maroney would be on hand for the beginning of the press conference. Alas, the press conference began and Maroney never showed. It wasn’t until 15 minutes after press conference had begun that the public was informed Maroney would not appear at the game…..I mean press conference.
On to Buffalo………Lee Evans spent his time with the trophy by getting the heck out of Buffalo. Which takes us to Miami where he met up with Andre Johnson. This is where I have to skip a few details until the next stop on the tour.
Next up is Washington, DC where Chris Cooley decided to use his time with the trophy building houses for habitat for humanity. Cooley was also seen carrying the trophy full of cash distributing it to every homeless person in DC. There are also rumors that Michael Irvin and Leon Lett tried to Rob Cooley of his trophy and cash wearing Cowboys toboggans pulled down over their faces. They were unable to make a getaway when they realized they forgot to cut holes for their eyes and ended up at a corner where a DC policeman observed them attempting to buy cocaine from a mailbox. The trophy and cash were returned to Cooley who finished up by drafting a plan for clean energy. We cannot reveal the plan yet, but we can tell you that Cooley will be receiving a Nobel Peace Prize during halftime of the first home game for his efforts.
On to Dallas where Nick Folk used the trophy to kick field goals from 50 yds.
From there the trophy traveled to San Diego to be with the entire chargers defense. Special guest Eli Manning was on hand to present the trophy to Shawne Merriman. As he attempted to pass the trophy it was intercepted by Antonio Cromartie and returned for a touchdown.
The next stop on the tour was one of the most enjoyable for everyone involved. The trophy was in Los Angeles for a taping of American Gladiators. The Gladiators were unstoppable that day. One battered contender was quoted, “I would imagine that is what it felt like to be the Horde against an angry giant otter defense in week 16.”
Finally, the trophy returned to Mississippi to await its next destination(as we all did)…….
After a few weeks it was on to New York and finally the start to a new season.
You all can see the trophy this weekend on its final stop this offseason(appointments can be made for special appearances, $300 per hour). Meet and greet the team and have your picture taken with the trophy($10 each).
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Raleigh, NC (Staff Reporter) -- The playoffs are such an exciting time of year, and the Super Bowl is quite an event, but when there is something else riding on the line, it just makes it that much better. And for us, it was the Championship of the Schmuck Free League...the Cup...the pride...the undisputed title of "Winner". Last year, it was a emotional victory for Fantasy Gangster. It was one that his staff (family) will cherish for a long time, but alas, it is now just a memory. History is being written in the Schmuck Free League, and the new author is Fox Run Giant Otters (please excuse the capital letters).
Congratulations to Fantasy Gangster, the first champion of the Schmuck Free League. Some thought the Gangster would run away with the championship after he posted six straight wins to start the season. One coach said "If you want to crown his a$$, crown him!". Some thought he was through when he lost McNabb and posted five straight losses near the end of the season. Coaches were overheard chuckling "Ha ha". Luckily he was able to drop most of his regular season team and start over for the playoffs. Some thought it was bold to draft the playoff team relying heavily on the Bears and Eagles, but all the doubters have to give the monkey... I mean Jim... some credit now....he is the champion.
Jim has been looking forward to this moment since his younger days as a cowboy when he would spend countless hours each day learning to ride the family bull and dreaming about fantasy football (see photo on home page). In a teary, private interview, his wife said she always knew he could be a fantasy football champion one day. She remembers the days in mid-November when he paid over $12 to use the internet service on a cruise ship (for five minutes) to set his fantasy lineup. She remembers the early Sunday morning ritual checking the injury reports, and the seemingly fateful day when the star QB went down. "We thought it was all over at that point. When he had to bring in Leinart, tears in his eyes, he sputtered, 'it was a good run...'" says Mrs. Gangster. She continues "...it was so bad at one point, he couldn't even go to league events....he just couldn't". The vision started to fade, but tough times make you stronger, and now the dream is a reality. Jim, manager of the Fantasy Gangster franchise, is the first ever white manager to lead his team to victory in the Schmuck Free League Playoffs. He likely will credit this championship to his country club upbringing. A resident member of the exclusive Briar Creek Country Club, Jim has been relentlessly tuning his football statistics knowledge, his social negotiation skills, and his internet surfing abilities. The Directv Sunday ticket could be his secret weapon. In his late thirties, retirement is on the horizon, but there are still plenty of years left to train his two sons to follow in his footsteps. Jim says, "we are a fantasy football family....it's in our blood". The championship parade and trophy presentation will be held at Rudino's Rooftop on Thursday night (2/8) at 7pm. The trophy will be on hand, and hopefully so will many of the owners. Please RSVP for this event so we will know how many to expect. Thanks to all for a great season and I hope to see you all on Thursday.
Craig
Commissioner
Owner, Camel Toe
The League Champion is crowned for the 2006-2007 season. Congratulations to Fantasy Gangster for taking home the trophy in the Schmuck Free Leagues Inaugural Season. Keep checking back here for more pictures of the champ and his trophy.
2006-07 - Fantasy Gangster
2007-08 - Fox Run Giant Otters
2008-09 - Fantasy Gangster
Copyright . The Schmuck Free League. All rights reserved.
